Pause by Taylor Dean

Author:Taylor Dean [Dean, Taylor]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Taylor Dean Books
Published: 2023-08-24T16:00:00+00:00

Matteo

“Wow,” I say. “Even with his broken English, I can feel how heartbroken he is. I think that’s the saddest thing I’ve ever read.”

“Maybe the most romantic too,” Slade comments with a furrowed brow. “It’s just that…”

“It was an affair. No one finds affairs romantic,” I state flatly, trying not to sound judgmental.

“Exactly. It’s hard to read for that reason. Mom was cheating. That’s not okay in my book,” There’s a twinge of disappointment in his voice.

“It’s never okay. Still, they obviously had a lot of love for each other. At least it wasn’t just…”

“Sex,” Slade finishes for me.

“You were created out of love. Just hold onto that thought. Otherwise…” I trail off again.

“I will only see these letters through tainted eyes.”

“Your mother made a mistake, and she owns it. I’d venture to say she’s haunted by her mistake to this day. None of us are perfect. We all make mistakes all the time.” Heaven knows I make far too many.

“Agreed. I don’t know one single person qualified to throw the first stone.” Slade lets out his breath. “Mom has made amends. That’s what matters.”

“This is how you entered the world. Let’s concentrate on the love, not the error in their ways. It’s the only way to survive this. It’s all about the love.”

He recaptures his composure. “Okay. I’m putting on blinders and only seeing the love.”

“For now. Then I need you to remove the blinders.”

Slade laughs for the first time since he entered my room. “I promise to take them off and always be faithful.”

Faithful to me? Is that what he means? I’m glad my trembling hands are hidden in my lap. This relationship has more promise than I ever imagined. This time, I initiate our kiss. For the next several moments, we forget about the letters and think only of each other.

It’s nice. No, it’s amazing, but we have a mission before us, so we get back to it. We’re both eager to see what the rest of the letters say.

We pore over them, our heads together as we concentrate. We can hardly read fast enough with our curiosity raging.

Turns out, they’re all more of the same. Lots of reminiscing about touristy things Lauren (Matteo calls her Laurie) and Matteo did. Mostly, the letters are filled with declarations of undying love in Italian. We Google every single one since neither of us knows a lick of Italian.

“What’s this one, Marin? Ti amo molto.”

I type it into my phone while he reads off the spelling. “It means I love you so much.” Our eyes meet as I say the words.

His fingers skim my cheek. “I like hearing those words from your lips.”

We break eye contact quickly. We’re not ready for those words, and we both know it. The feelings are there, pulsing through and around us. They’re just not ready to be declared out loud yet. We’re tentative, ready to explode. For now, we’ll let the bomb keep ticking.

The anticipation is a high all its own.

“How about this one?” Slade asks.

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